How’s your dog’s scrotum?

I would be willing to bet you a million bucks that you haven’t ever said some of the stuff we say on a daily basis. At first I wasn’t sure exactly what was and wasn’t appropriate and how explicit to be. Now, I’m fearless.

Yesterday I talked with a pet owner for ten minutes about the condition of his dog’s scrotum. Didn’t even blush when I suggested that he consider applying a cold compress to it. (The look of horror on his face was priceless.) And, by the way, it wasn’t a cruel joke – it really can help reduce post surgical swelling. Too much information? Oh well.

We thought you might enjoy reading the following list of things we could have sworn we would never say:

“How is your dog’s scrotum?”

“Is that a monkey butt shave?”

“It’s fine that your dog just pooped in the lobby – it happens all the time.”

“Did you get a look the size of those balls (are they fist bump worthy)?”

“Your biggest enemy is licking.”

“Is it time to shave his balls yet?”

“How exactly did the cat manage to pee in your eye?”

“I can be the booty scratcher.”

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